Grape Crusher Enthusiast Gifts

Winery employees must wash feet after rest room use.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

The Vineyard

Wine Lady

"Umm ... not sure what notes you'll detect on your palate, but it'll get you ripped."

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

A giant glass of red wine

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

'Who's the new guy?'

An Excellent Nose for Wine.

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

Wine tasting

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

'Why is the jacuzzi full of grapes?'

Nouveau wine

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

Schoolboy with lunch box.

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'I think we can skip the resume.'