Grape Crusher Enthusiast Gifts

Winery employees must wash feet after rest room use.

Pete Townshend Vineyards

The Vineyard

Wine Lady

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

'This is the last time we hire former Cirque du Soleil members as stompers.'

'Wine, high octane grape juice.'

'No, you're not calling at a bad time. I'm a professional wine taster - it's alwasys a good time.'

"My wife commissioned a portrait of me."

Man with wine glass face looks unhappy.

'Who's the new guy?'

'Are you sure this wine is ten years old?' - 'Yes, I remember opening it ten years ago.'

A giant glass of red wine

'Would you like some of our house wine? I just made it.'

Spiro & Pusho: watering the vine and the neighbour.

Wine tasting

The Grapes of Wrath finally get some professional help.

'I, Dom Perignon, will now uncork the very first bottle of Champagne. Of course, I'm just guessing this is the right way to do it.'

"Thanks for inventing the god Dionysus. Now the whole country has a reason to drink more wine."

"I spent all day looking for this Malbec, not that anybody cares."

"Soy milk and rice milk are okay but I prefer grape milk.".

Nouveau wine

"To tourists this just looks like a pile of rotten and damaged grapes. But here at Trendy Vineyards, we look at it and see Special Select Reserve."

'Hey, if they can grow in Michigan...'

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'I think we can skip the resume.'

'Okay, you've got a mouthful of minerals, grapefruit, herbs and grass. Is it starting to taste like a sauvignon blanc?'

"This family-owned boutique wine is produced from a single grape."

Wine connoisseur in search of new vintage.(Wine)

'Bruce! 'ow many times must I tell 'ya? Only one wave of the bloomin' terroir flag over the fruit!'

Schoolboy with lunch box.

"Now this is a Francis Ford Coppola. We still haven't been here quite long enough to be drinkable ourselves."