Granny Slam Dunkers Gifts

"The worst thing about getting shorter is you can't get those rebounds any more."

Gary turns 40.

'Wait!... I don't want to take Brady out right now. He's just getting into rhythm.'

The most fabulous Gran in the world.

Before getting a basketball scholarship, Jack worked at a pancake house.

Basketball

"I love fast break business success."

'Verheyen! How many times have I told you? Don't let your personal life affect your play on the court.'

I love Basketball.

'Billy! Set your homework aside and get down here. There's another basketball recruiter here to see you.'

Basketball.

"Ancient Aztec shaman-kings predicted a coming together of all the cultures of the world, creating a new enlightenment for human beings."

'Relax, teamwork always leads to a slam dunk.'

YAAY! Slam dump!

Slam Dunking the Outtray

'No kidding? I didn't realize 80 is the new 20!'

Athletic Darwinism.

'Well, yes, a little lonely, dear. But I have Mog. And my Grand Theft Auto...'

'Son, there's more to life than dunking, There's also making big money from ads, like Yao Ming'

Basketball net that shreds the basketball.

'I'm sorry, but you missed too many easy layups.'

"The big bucks are in pro sports. So instead of doing your homework, get out there and shoot some hoops!"

'I can't dunk.'

'It's all Dewey's fault, coach. Rick was showing me how he can fit an entire basketball in his mouth when Dewey walked up and slapped him on the back.'

'It's exciting and you make a lot of money, but if you don't win, they flush you down the toilet. Welcome to the pros, kid.'

"Just practice half-court shots - all other shots have lost their meaning."

'I told my teacher I won't be returning to school...'

Heimlich's other lesser known maneuver.

'He's here to see you about a basketball scholarship.'

'Tell me again the name of the professional basketball team you played for.'

'Wait -- look! All this time we've been fooled by a blue-screen background and wires!'

My gran likes the crossword.

Granny's Old Tyme Prostitute Chocolate Chip Cookies

'Still not ready to talk Ok dip him again,'

"To save me from losing it on the bends, I swear by a smearing of denture fixative."