Grade Grapple Expert Gifts

"Math would have been a 'A' if you factor in the fudge factor. I got caught fudging on the final."

The Jeopardy of Progress

"I like going to school...and I like coming home from school. It's all the stuff in the middle that gives me trouble."

Pinocchio's Second Realization

'I got an alleged C on my criminal law test.'

Secretive Weigh In.

"Now, suppose some guy comes at you balanced between two blocks."

"God works in mysterious ways."

Bad times to sneeze

"I just feel like I'm constantly disappointing parents everytime I appear on report cards."

Grim Reapers sitting their 'Finals'.

'Get him in a full nelson, you dolt! You'll never pin him with a Heimlich maneuver!'

Teacher boxing book: 'As I told you, today we're gonna really hit the books!'

"I think she marked yours in blue pen because she used up all her red on mine."

"Keep it up. His knuckles are getting really sore"

'Today I invested in some Chinese stocks, but I felt greedy again in an hour.'

"On the one hand, we'll burn in hell; on the other, that's a lot of money."

Man crushing grapes with flippers.

'Sorry professor, my mind was some other place.'

'I would've done better in geography, but the test on Australia boomeranged.'

'I think I caught one of those fish showing on the graph.'

Cat boxer

How's the writer's block?

'It's the ultimate micro brew. Put some hops and yeast in your mouth and gargle.'

'Such petulance!'

"Look, I got a good grade because I worked hard. It's like riding a bike...stay in your seat, keep moving forward and you'll reach your goal. Unless you hit a lipstick case dropped in the middle of the road."

'Mum, Dad, I've downgraded my academic forecast.'

'If I had Doppler, it would be predicting a storm when my parents see this grade on my meteorology test.'

'You're not achieving the bench marks.'

'Alright, gentlemen, I think we'll dispense with 'cheese'...'

'Part of me wants to get caught. I need to get in touch with that part and beat the hell out of it.'

'If my grades don't improve, I don't know what'll happen. Maybe they'll offer me a buyout.'

"There is no complaint department, Robert."

'I know I'm just a weather reporter, doc, but I feel guilty every time it rains.'

"Look, Dad, I can explain my report card... Maybe I'm not the best student in the world...maybe I'll never be as good as you want me to be... Maybe..."