Grade Collector Gifts

"I started a collection!"

Handbag store - "Perfect."

Servicemen.

Interdisciplinary studies.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

"It's not fair! I only got 100 on my English test!"

Armed forces waiting with nothing to do.

"So the secret to getting good grades is to study hard...seems a little extreme!"

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I got an 'A' - and all my research was from infomercials."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

"So, Bob... anything you'd like to tell me about your little trip to the hunting store on Boxing Day?"

'Whoa! This was supposed to be an easy merit badge!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Pinpoint havoc, gentlemen, accuracy of mayhem. And yet our dress blues remain crisp and sharp, our hands soft and pink."

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

A Rifle Competition in the North

'He's just come back from another management training course.'

Utility Chic.

"Knowing all the weather rock lore doesn't really count toward the weather badge."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"I got an A in not being annoying!"

"I wonder if this will count for wood carving badge?"

Doric, Ionic, Corinthian, and Broken Pillars.

"I'm not all you can eat? But I brought my special plate!"

Count Von Moltke.

"What's that smell?" "A paper cut."

Vampire laying in his coffin wearing a Smiley badge.

"This grade doesn't fit into my five-year plan!"

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

"Most of my consumerism is self-taught."

'I meant bring your fishing tackle.'

'We're confident that morale dips resulting from the recent salary cuts will be offset by the distribution of these smiley face badges to all affected employees.'