Degree Collector Gifts

'Perpetual Sutdent Syndrome Clinic' Director: R. Chones, BA, MA, PhD, MSW, MBA.

My only skill is taking tests.

Liberal Arts Diploma.

And if you go for your Masters', we'll throw in your PH.D. at no extra charge.

'School of hard knocks.'

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

The hospital requires all of our nursing staff to be educated to degree level, nurse Pittwalter's is in Post-Neoclassical endogenous growth theory.'

Graduate

No room to hang his diploma.

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

'I didn't know you could get an actual DEGREE in junk science!'

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

"Uh...no, thank you. I'll just stay another four years."

"Hi, I'm Dr. Jenkins." "Nice to meet you. I'm Bachelor of Science Johnson."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

'All of my degrees are from on-line universities. I guess that makes me a man of e-mails rather than of letters.'

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"It was a party school."

Big Student Loan Debt And Nobody Will Hire Me Because I'm Overqualified.

"Having an MBA from a prestigious college is quite impressive. However, we're looking for someone with basic computer skills."

"All my degrees have made me an expert in the field of student debt."

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'This qualifies you to make educated guesses.'

'Did you say you were in higher or highest education?'

"I see you graduated Summa Cum Laude, but then didn't your whole graduating class."

'I don't see many Masters degrees from home schooling.'

"Peace studies...pah! I've got a degree in self righteousness studies"

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

Professional student: giant fish in school.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'Hi son. We just stopped by to bring you some food and money...we know how hard it must be to be in collage and have a job at the same time.'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

"I'm afraid that a career in Neurophysiology requires more than a degree from the 'University of Hard Knocks!'"