Digital Diploma Collector Gifts

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'Ever since she got that MBA on the Internet, she's been impossible to live with.'

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"

"Make a lot of money."

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

"I started a collection!"

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

No room to hang his diploma.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

'This one's for clearing my browser history. This one's for emptying my cache. This one's...'

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

Time traveller of the year, 3173, A.D.

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

'Well...all right...go ahead.'

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

"Isn't that cute? He's reading his diplomas again."

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

More Education Needed

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

"Some guys from the state board of medicine are here to see you."