Fake Degree Collector Gifts

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

'I have this fear of the real world...'

Postgraduates A group of posts on their way to class.

"I have a Bachelor's degree from Columbia, an MBA from Stanford, six years experience, and I'm a hell of a mouser."

Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000... Congratulations, and thanks for the $86,000...

'So you have a PhD, big deal, everyone working here has one! The question is, what can you really do?'

"I see here that you are a recent graduate."

Personnel. I've heard of "magna cum laude" and "summa cum laude," but I've never heard of a person graduating "persona non grata." (Published originally on June 3, 1981.)

"It's translated from French, so where it says 'Harvard Business School' it may mean 'jail.'"

'School of hard knocks.'

Graduate

'I have an MBA, but I've never MBAed.'

'A bachelor's? Big deal - I have a MASTER'S degree in enlightenment!'

"You’d think being anthropomorphic would be enough but nowadays you need a Masters to even get your foot in the door."

"Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember the college's financial plight. Congratulations. Please remember . . ."

Bachelors and Masters degrees.

"First I'm getting a Bachelor's Degree, the a Master's Degree, then a Doctor's Degree!"

Welcome! University of Hard Knocks...Where common sense is better than smarts!

'Welcome graduates, parents, guests, faculty, and home equity loan officers.'

'My son has college degrees in psychology, economics and political science. He can't get a job but at least he knows why.'

No room to hang his diploma.

'...then I got my masters in psychology, and a year later I earned my Ph.D. in sociology. By the time I get my master in math and my doctorate in history, I'll be ready to retire.'

"I majored in sheep with a minor in cat herding."

"The best part is, for me history is now history!"

Graduation Day At A Party School

'Well...all right...go ahead.'

' I see that you have a B.A. degree in stapling and collating. Your parents must be very proud of you.'

"He thinks he's so smart with his 360 degrees!"

More Education Needed

"Terrific - degrees from the macaroni institute and the cheese academy."

"Here it is -- my E-school diploma coming off the printer!"

'I told you - they'll send me all these impressive looking diplomas when I pay off my student debt!'

"I know you went to Harvard, but stop asking to see my resume."

Principal: 'Is THERE a DOCTORATE in the House?!'

And if you go for your Masters', we'll throw in your PH.D. at no extra charge.