Degree Debunker Gifts

Welcome! University of Hard Knocks...Where common sense is better than smarts!

'I have this fear of the real world...'

A boy is sat at a desk, with five plaques implying different qualifications he has earned from using social media.

"Stinkin' fake news!"

'So what are you studying, young man?'

"Do you think the flat earth society has members round the globe?"

'I tried to warn him - garbage in, garbage out.'

"Damn. These must have shrunk in the wash." "I don't think so."

'Care to join in some of my avoidance behaviour?'

People, please listen. I'm talkin 'bout the income gap. The top one percent of Americans get one third of the nation's income, over double what they got in 1980. One-third. The income for the top 0.01% is 196 times the bottom 90%. Your wages have stagnated and the super-duper rich have gotten super-duper richer! How can you possibly swallow your coffee? Because you're making me do math before noon!

"I've been studying reverse psychology at Tonga Tech Online University."

"We thought we could put in the details later."

'So, in college what did you major in' - 'Business poetry.'

Useful Degrees:"Bachelor of Waitressing

'I didn't know 'Businessish Management' was something you could get a degree in.'

'I'm sorry - Mr. Jenkins, MBA, PhD, MD, Esq. is O.U.T.'

I'm sorry I couldn't come up with a reason for you to live, Al. I blame it on the fact that I got my medical degree from Trump University.

'Thanks, I started collecting diplomas when I was seven.'

"I'm sorry, sir, but this survey does not allow for that opinion."

"You put PhD on birth certificate?!" "It's never to early to give em an advantage."

Frank was right not to trust statistics...the numbers lie!

" No, I'm not concerned about my weight...why worry about something you can't see?"

Out-tray Paper Aeroplanes

WHEW!

'What makes you think you're so smart?'

'...You've got no game.'

"Market Research will now tell us what we want people to tell us."

"We took everything that was nice and got rid of it."

"Grandma, if an apple-a-day really did keep the doctor away... the surgeon general would find that apples cause cancer!"

Pay Inactivity Fee $20.

The Genius of Science-Denial

'I think educated guesses are useless; they're nothing but I-don't-knows with a degree.'

"The United States is lower than most countries... We're lower than the world!"

"Two plus two makes four?! Only if you still cling to the outmoded and stereotypical worldview of the patriarchy."

REPORT CARD, 'Maybe my teacher just isn't teaching math right -- she IS a girl, after all.'