Government Ministers Gifts

"We had lots of calls from people wanting to get away during the fuel crisis..."

The Anti-Agent

"You're fired."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

"On a more positive note the guidance we’ve published on the services we can’t provide is published in 37 different languages."

"You've got to fill in these forms to join the 'How to reduce bureaucracy' seminar."

They're Not Just That Into It

"I'm afraid I can't green-light anything - you'll just have to pray."

It soon became apparent that the vicar was an undercover journalist.

''...And defend the Constitution of the United States.' -- And now, I'd like to pardon the following Illinois politicians....'

"Do you, Darlene, take Jim to be your lawfully wedded husband, when you could, clearly, do far better?"

"We seem to be spending more on defence than on things to defend"

"This is the most important election of our lifetime."

'Why didn't he take 8 days and finish the job properly?'

'She's a very protectice mother!' - Lifeguard at Christening/Baptism.

'Now I kinda wish we had planned a bigger wedding.'

"The water changes them back into babies. I think they call it the Fountain of Youth."

'Mildred-thy milk runneth over!'

Trump pardons

"Stepping on the gown never works. They run faster without it."

"It's OK, I'm preordained."

"We stumbled onto a house - and both of us being young and in love and quick to grasp the situation - "

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"National security adviser"

'...We apologise for any inconvenience this may cause..."

"Will you stand by him through humiliating revelation after humiliating revelation, and then-once you're sure it couldn't possibly get any worse-when even more humiliating revelations come to light?"

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, I mean, alpacas? What are they? It’s like Bob Seger mated with a llama."

'Do you promise to love, honor and remain co-dependent until death do you part?'

'Sire, Sodom and Gomorrah are requesting Federal disaster relief aid.'

"Black or white, Vicar?"

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

Two priests share a laugh outside a confessional booth

Night-time halo