Government Officials Gifts

"Let's never forget that the public's desire for transparency has to be balanced by our need for concealment."

'We can offer Volunteers a range of experiences including exhaustion, emotional overload, lack of support and stark terror.'

'You think I'm crazy; I think you're crazy...finally some common ground!'

'While they're still enthusiastic do you think we could get them to take on climate change and the war on drugs as well?'

Once again, the conversation gets too heated, and the selection of a state muffin has to be shelved until next year.

'How does this work? I've recently retired from Congress and am not quite sure how to pay for things with my own money.'

"Power corrupts, and absolute power...present company excepted."

Who blames who in health Insurance problems

'The Federal Government today authorized a ten-year study of all its five-year studies.'

'Wait, I have a coupon for $500,000 off that hammer.'

Unable to afford repairs the Department of Transportation simply relabeled poorly maintained roads as Historic Routes.

Good King George until terrorism's end.

Government Security Breach Reporting Station

'Are 3-D, high definition webinars really necessary?'

"Your signature, Your Majesty, as well as your driver's license and a major credit card."

'Somebody close the window. Those pesky drones are getting in.'

'This is a really low budget approach to stopping illegal immigration.'

The Byers Tapestry 1.

'Tim, the idea we would bug reporter's phones and listen to their private calls is preposterous. Incidentally, how was your wife's bunion surgery? And are Timmy Jr's grades improving.'

"When it comes to balancing the budget, unfortunately he has the minus touch."

'...Please PASS anything...!'

Post global warming desert island cartoons.

Another failed weapons project by the U.S. government.

"Our $500- Pentagon toilet seats now made by Haliburton in Iraq for $800."

Please take a number...Runaround excuse number: 37...

'Looks like the latest crime figures have been stolen.'

'Speaking on budget deficit, the president said 'We can save billions if we elimate the two superflous branches of government.'

'Ferguson here will explain the 'worst case scenario' of Social Security Privatization.'

Other Than That Everything's Perfect

'We can't cut entitlements for federal employees. We're federal employees.'

"Having concluded a thorough review of your management of the 'test and trace' and vaccination programmes we have concluded that you're a bit s**t... That''ll be £450,000."

"We shortened the guidelines."

Susan Collin

DOGE* to English Instant Translator Device

"I downloaded this public sector tender we should consider bidding for. I’m hoping that these new Procurement Regulations will make it a less tortuous exercise." "Based on that first page I suggest nothing has changed..."