Government Official Gifts

'Hi ? I'm from the Government, and I'm here to help you.'

"And this is where we adjust the interest rate."

"But how do you know for sure you've got power unless you abuse it?"

"The way I see it, the Constitution cuts both ways. The First Amendment gives you the right to say what you want, but the Second Amendment gives me the right to shoot you for it."

"Remember,this is a one-shot, not an entitlement."

"Are you sure this is the correct way to declassify documents?"

"So it's agreed then. There'll be no third runway, and you'll head the Fourth Runway steering group."

Rishi Sunak

Theresa May

"Checks and balances! Checks and balances! -- You sound just like the silly bank!"

House Intelligence Committee

Whitehall: Gave honest impartial advice

Three steps to turn around the economy.

'Excellent! So that's all agreed, then! All we need do now is draft the consultation document.'

"The only solution I can see is to hold a series of long and costly hearings in order to put off finding a solution."

'Actually I think you'll find it's really more like this.'

"Personally, I liked this roller coaster a lot better before the Federal Reserve Board got hold of it."

"O.K., the third of July is out. How about the fourth?"

'OK, that's five votes in favor of saving the historic old hotel, and one vote for stomping it to bits and eating everyone inside!'

First Nationalized Bank

The Fort Knox Gold Depository has a key under the mat

Freedom of Information Act - Frequently ducked questions.

"Give me a couple years, and I can answer your simple question about the new regulations."

Man with megaphone lobbying parliament.

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'The government announced that to reduce the budget deficit, it will move the decimal two points to the left.'

National Health Service

Tied up in red tape.

'Hi this is Brussels - we're going to need to order some more red tape.'

New Planning Body in beauty spot - 'Nice spot for our HQ...'

'Congress presented its report on simplifying the tax code today - it's 4,385 pages long.'

'The stimulus package doesn't seem to be working,'

Power: 'It's mine and you can't have it.'

"I welcome the discussion."

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