Public Official Gifts

'It's the competitive tendering process.'

"I don't know how you managed it madam, but you have got though to someone in authority."

'I would do the 'common good' more often if there were some big pay off for me in it.'

"We all know the Senator's position regarding term limits."

Marshal, when you said you were going to clean up this town, we thought you meant...'

'...and 10 more years, because I'm running for re - election and we're on TV!'

'For me, this gives a new meaning to the phrase 'voter turnout'.'

Johnson Lockdown Party

Warning! Federal bureaucrats zone... next 3000 miles.

"Why don't you just abdicate?"

The Politician's Tongue.

'Do I look like my election poster?'

"It's amazing...no matter what we do. They just keep on re-electing us..."

'The Senator's afraid he's irked his base. I don't know if he needs political advice or medical attention.'

"I followed all the right regulations, but not, necessarily, in the right order."

Ollanta Humala

"Give me your money. You can't do this, I'm an MP."

'In politics it's not a lie. It's just the truth if the facts were different!'

"You've been around here longer than I have. What are 'congressional ethics'?"

Vote For "None of the Above" - A Name You Can Trust!

Former politician will kick the can down the road . . . for food.

'I admit in my younger days that I experimented with catnip, but I didn't enjoy it.'

'If elected, I would reduce government spending - by freeing all prisoners.'

'Books about local libraries? We're moving them to the history section.'

'If you're a public servant, what does that make ME?'

Lindsey Takes the Oath

Secretary of Comedy Meeting with Other Cabinet Members

"Nation-building never works."

"Oh, I'll be bi-partisan alright, punishing both sides of the aisle."

Opportunities in Coronatimes

"Obama didn’t get to name a Supreme Court justice during his final year. So how come Trump does?"

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"1984 by George Orwell. Project 2025. Presidential transition project."

The Anti-Agent

"You're fired."