Government Cynic Gifts

Government a la Carte

"Good boy."

'In its new 'spirit of evenhandedness,' the U. S. Government today sent troops to occupy all foreign countries....'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

'The world already ended, but the government hushed it up.'

"...Our extensive in house survey found that 82% of you think in house surveys are a waste of time."

Taking Credit after Voting against Stimulus

The Government's Got Your Back. And Wants Your Front As Well.

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

DUNVOTIN

"I see the White House didn't lower the flag to half staff."

CONGRESS, 'No, no, you don't HAVE to fool all of the people all of the time - you just need to CONFUSE them!'

US Capitol Building Toppled

"People are looking for stability in pension arrangements..."

"Sir, multiple people were stabbed by a terrorist in..."

"Massive deficit spending, enormous Federal bailouts, open borders, ridiculous earmarks, pork for everybody, intervention all over the world.... Now, why didn't I think of that?"

'Neither a lender nor a borrower be.'

'Stocks dropped on the news that governments can fool some people come of the time,but not all the people all of the time.'

'I suppose they call it the rat race because only rats ever seem to win.'

"Lets get 100% behind the boss."

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

The Emperor's New Clothes

social services cuts

"I rob from the poor and give to the rich."

'Should I just hit 'reply to all' and save the government the trouble?'

'The rich get richer and the poor get poorer. That's a wonderful mission statement.'

Committee on Deficit Spending and Positive Spinning.

"So you want to give yourselves a pay raise and change term limits so you can continue to ignore voter mandates and introduce ridiculous legislation?"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

Trump Lashes Out at John Bolton

"My MP ensured that there are laws which allow me to evade taxes legally. We both end up winning!"

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"The president says it's a weather balloon."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

Utopia - a necessarily restrictive and conformist social structure.