Committee Cynic Gifts

'If Moses had been a committee...the children of Israel would still be in Egypt!'

"Why don't we switch off the news and give Brexit up for Lent?"

"VP J.D. Vance called Donald: 'cynical asshole,' a 'moral disaster,' a 'total fraud,' an 'idiot,' and suggested he might be 'America’s Hitler.'"

Government a la Carte

'You gonna finish that lemon peel?'

"Nihilistic customer service"

The Forever Stamp

"Taxation with representation hasn't worked out so well." (two men at the US capital talking taxes and politics)

"I'm back from Russia. Putin offered me a Dacha to say he's an honest man."

"We've now got a higher approval rating than the media."

"Right. Women adore him, men want to be like him, and YOU... well, you're hopeless. So, am I the ONLY one who sees through this guy?"

"Dear, if the news stresses you out so much, turn it off!"

"At the end of the day it's just a sunset."

There's a lot of money flowing into political campaigns. I'm less concerned about money in politics than I am that none of it trickles down to me.

Space Tours. Ernie, in this interview promoting your space tours, you didn't acknowledge the first test rocket was vaporized in a huge launch pad explosion. I said "The first test yielded spectacular results!" There's nothing about your lack of a system to provide oxygen for the travelers. I informed people "the experience will leave you breathless!" Lots of your technology is straight out of the 19th century! I said "Come be a pioneer!" It seems most of your company's effort went into th

Sen. Krupt. Your vote should never be for sale. It's much more efficient to rent it out!

"Life sucks and then you keep living."

"Do you know 'Love Stinks,' by the J. Geils Band?"

'Confused about your future, depressed, lacking confidence, not sure who you can trust...I'd suggest you avoid any election news and watch modern family instead.'

"Caption: we work in an office; however, we have dressed for the circus. What a humorous mixup."

"The first goal of our ad hoc committee should be to learn Latin."

"I can't wait till after the election when everything will be perfect."

Obama builds own gallows.

Federal Bureau of Do As We Say, NOT As We Do!

'Here - The Royal Safety Council said you have to wear this.'

'Before I read the investment committee's report - I would remind everyone that I never asked to be on this damn committee.'

'Huh! Nobody home!'

'I think we should form a committee to look into this 'individual initiative' thing.'

"And in this section it appears that you have not only alienated voters but actually infected them, too."

Sucking Up to Gen X

"Would you say your politics are middle of the road?"

"You seem to have the right combination of bitterness, pessimism, and caffeine consumption that we're looking for."

"I've given him your message. If you'll just take a seat, he'll be out in a moment with his hands up."

"Man, I'm sooooo bored!"

Man at a desk in Performance Review Dept. has a cannon in the 'OUT' box pointing out the window lights cannon.