Gourmet Water Enthusiast Gifts

"Their water is all locally sourced."

Bring your own inflatable.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"An everything Martini, please."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Holiday Supplies

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Lifesaver!

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Platter confusion.

Haute Chinese

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Join me for dinner?

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"