Gourmet Water Enthusiast T-Shirts

"Their water is all locally sourced."

Bring your own inflatable.

'Er . . . and a fork for me...'

"Oh, look- French! Let's try it."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

Water Gardening: One thing is certain - you will find the peace and tranquility of water an almost irresistible attraction.

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"An everything Martini, please."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

Holiday Supplies

'Actually I'm a nerdivore. I only eat your lamer plants and animals: duckbill platypi, cumquats, daffodils, the occasional mudshark.'

"You've ordered comfort food. May I recommend a comfort wine?"

"The prices they charge here, you'd expect them to have an oven not just a gas ring!"

"It's a Haiku Dinner."

"They won't even try their palate cleansers!"

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"I don’t know, Margaret. She looks like the type who makes exotic stuffings."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"I think foie gras is French for endless buffet."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Lifesaver!

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

For the Wilsons, Gold Medalists Los Angeles '84, bathtime was always a ritual.

Haute Chinese

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

Platter confusion.

"Who ordered the moose en croute?"

'May I suggest a pleasant viognier to put the subtext into gear?'

Leftovers restaurant - for that unpretentious dining.