Gourmet Beverage Appreciator T-Shirts

'Sorry, I only drink still wines. I don't have the patience to wait for bubbles to pop.'

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

'No ice.'

Join me in a Martini?

Some days at work can be more challenging than others.

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Excuse me, but do you have a decaffeinated baristo?'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"An everything Martini, please."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"I've tasted better myself, but you've got to admit the service is good."

"Scotch and water musick."

'Hey, pal... do you have a wine that tastes like beer?'

"You know what they say, time flies when you're having rum!"

"Great coffee, Carole."

"Shower beers? Aisle eight."

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

'The way I see it, drinking is its own reward.'

'Fried chickens.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Thermidor Dali

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"I'm sure you've heard of foodies - he's a drinkie."

"What'll ya have?"

"And then, suddenly, it was 3 P.M., and she hadn't really got anything done."

Pub restrooms; Thugs - Thugettes

Join me for dinner?

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Cheese Pile

Haute Chinese