Gourmet Appreciator T-Shirts

"I hope we get a good review."

"Let's see . . . I detect beef . . . peas . . . and a subtle hint of sweet potato!"

"We'll start with the appetizer, move on to the entree, and then finish up with dessert."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"Would you care to see a YouTube of your chicken when it was free ranging?"

Thermidor Dali

"Table nine sends its compliments, and table fourteen wants to know what the hell was in the soup."

'Yuk! This wine tastes as if it's been drunk already!'

Cheese Pile

Victorian Fast Food - 'I'll have the lark pie festooned with eels, a full stilton, two bottles of port,,,'

'I can take your full-bottle order - he only handles splits.'

"I was with you right up to the cumin."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

La Table

"You're the lid to my pot."

"You say your crème needs more Brulée?"

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"...But ASIDE from that, how was your trip to France?"

Jeff soon discovered his mistake in ordering the one ton soup.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'What wine goes with comfort foods?'

"You have a big check because you had a big wine."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"I didn't invent the wheel. I invented the pizza."

"Don't worry about it now, but I'll need that hook back when you're done."

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"