Gourmet Appreciation T-Shirts

'You have an impressive cellar.'

"Ray says he serves his homemade wine this way for the presentation, but believe me, it's because it improves the taste."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

"You'll love this. It's swarthy yet munificent, didactic and gregarious with hints of dogma."

"The chef is going to need more than just your ‘compliments’ tonight … he’s in one of his moods."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

'Wait until you taste the artisanal water. It's not to be believed.'

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Menu Dating

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

"Waiter, can you heat this up? The wild salmon got cold while I was posting it to Instagram."

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'Take of the fruit and eat . . . Well, peanuts actually.'

Too much cilantro

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

To do before Saturday...

The Main Types of Cheese

French wine

"Your soup is delicious. The broth perfectly compliments the font."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"