Gourmet Drink Fanatic Gifts

"Would you like the Tall, Non-Fat Latte with Caramel Drizzle, Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk, Triple,Venti, Soy, No Foam Latte..."

Like, Latte. So that's a vanilla almond with soy, extra foam, whipped cream, nutmeg, and caramel. Leave room for coffee?

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"An everything Martini, please."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

You're the botanicals in my gin

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

'The King of what?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Join me for dinner?

Haute Chinese

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'