Gourmet Drink Fanatic Pillows

"Would you like the Tall, Non-Fat Latte with Caramel Drizzle, Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk, Triple,Venti, Soy, No Foam Latte..."

'Well, gotta get up early and start drinking again.'

"An everything Martini, please."

You're the botanicals in my gin

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

'Gimme a Canadian club on the rocks!'

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

"It's kind of sweet when they're all settled in like this."

'Why, thank you. When they started the vineyard five generations ago, I heard they were shooting for freakin' awesome.'

"When I was a child, I drank like a child, but when I became a man I put away childish drinks."

"Another flue shot, Larry.

"How about we settle your tab from the regular season?"

'Would you care to see our wine list, water list, soda list, tea list, coffee list, single malt scotch list, or beer list?'

"Quick, I need a drink. Someone just called me Ma'am."

"The Ususal, Mr. B?"

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"Scientists may need a trillion dollar atom smasher to explore the fundamental questions of the universe, but all you need is one too many."

'The King of what?'

"In addition to the regular menu, today's specials are . . ."

"I do like a plant that can hold its drink"

'I wanted this on the rocks.'

Man at work sees in lounge refrigerator, 'Creative Juices'

'Your switching to Scotch? And after I've given you the best beers of my life!'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

'The braised toucan was fine...although I found the bill a little large.'

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

Haute Chinese

Join me for dinner?

"Good evening, sir, may I see your drinking licence please?"

Whiskey wars