Gourmet Drink Lover Gifts

I'd like a mocha almond vanilla latte...hold the coffee.

'Dry enough?'

"You're the lid to my pot."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"An everything Martini, please."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

"I cook the sausages in French mineral water, I wear a French beret and I can call you 'Monsieur'."

'You're lucky there, Sir. That's the last one in the world.'

'I'm sorry, sir, but it's hats off for the Chef's Special!'

"We'd like the roasted homework for two. And fetch us a bottle of your finest toilet water."

"And exactly how is the peanut-butter-and-jelly prepared?"

'I'm an atheist!'

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'I'll give you a bite of my calamari for one of your stuffed shrimp.'

"The food here is excellent- what time is breakfast?"

Haute Chinese

"Waiter... my entrée fell over."

I told you I got us the best table in the house. Pizza.

Join me for dinner?

"Yes, he is a celebrity chef, but he doesn't have any opinions on Iraq."

"There must be a place we can wait on line for an hour before eating."

"Then again, an honest profile picture would not have got me a wonderful 'Duck Confit with a Chocolat Creme Brulee.'"

Man with a 'menu', woman with a 'womenu'.

Cut out and keep your own Chef

'You want to eat out tonight? -- What if we get addicted to good food?'

"Sorry about the delay, sir. The manager is interviewing chefs at this very moment."

'Pass the grey stuff.'

"When you said, 'Let's go out for dinner,' I thought you meant foraging. This is much better!"

"You see, I don't believe in eating fast. I believe in savoring. I....hey, stop looking at my food!"

'Good thing you ordered a double portion.'

'There was sizzle but no steak.'

"Whatever is quickest - I'm starving!"

"Pinot Noir, God's apology for White Zinfandel."

'Jingling your change won't get us a better table.'