Gourmet Drinks Gifts

'This customer wants 'a coffee' - do we serve those?'

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

Have you ever noticed that the more complicated the order, the more gay the orderee?

'All I can say is, if you like trying new beers and hate having money, this is the one for you.'

"Would you like the Tall, Non-Fat Latte with Caramel Drizzle, Grande, Iced, Sugar-Free, Vanilla Latte with Soy Milk, Triple,Venti, Soy, No Foam Latte..."

"Your food didn't melt, young man... this is the soup course."

"I know you didn't order the snails, sir. They're complimentary with the salad."

"When I was your age. I was really smelly."

The wonderful world of cheese.

'This is one of our most recent vintages!'

'Plastic corks, then screw caps; when they come out with a flip-n-sip Chateau Petrus I'm hanging up my tastevin.'

"And I'm teaming that burned sausage up with a warm, flat local lager."

'The heart and eyes feel nothing, but the stomach and ears are completely infatuated.'

"So this coffee shop if your 'hangout'?"

"I just finished your manuscript and I found the ending delicious."

'Waiter...my entrée fell over.'

It turns out they don't go together so well,

"I feel like we are the polyester of dairy products."

"Everything taste so divinely artisanal."

French wine

"Yes, we have blue cheese. Do you want it in electric, sky or navy blue?"

"I forgot to take a pic of the tacos."

The Main Types of Cheese

Too much cilantro

To do before Saturday...

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

His Her Cakes

"Keep your glasses on. It will look like twice as much."

Every time you make a blend, somewhere, a wine maker dies.

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Is there any way I can un-drink this wine?"

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

'No, I'm not the sommelier; in fact, I don't even work here - I've just always wanted to try this wine.'

'You wanted to be a wine maker in the worst way, Paul - and you've succeeded.'

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop