Gourmet Sippers Gifts

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

"Christmas - what a fuss eh?"

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

Yoga vs. Prosecco

'I swear, if he didn't always pick up the tab, I'd never go drinking with him.'

"Our fresh seasonal hand-crafted brews contain a full serving of spring vegetables."

Menu Dating

'Don't let him pick the wine. He thinks Dom Perignon was someone who got knocked off on the Sopranos.'

Anton's Bar and Grill

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

A very fine vintage

"Our seasonal special is spiced pumpkin apple butternut squash ale. Would you like that in a frosted mug or over ice cream?"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Can I get you another coffee?

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

New for Fall

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"Could I have a skinny, half fat caramel infued Americano with a double shot and froth. . . but without the coffee!"

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

Acme Instant Muscle Ade Machine

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

Wine Prices

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

Book Prediction Club

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

The Coffee Specialist

"Is the vodka fresh?"

'Prayer services held in pub' "Same again please..."

I think you may have overdone the pumpkin spice thing this fall.

'All I can say is, if you like trying new beers and hate having money, this is the one for you.'