Sippers Of The Finer Things Gifts

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'If this is tea, I'll have a coffee. If it's a coffee, I'll have a tea!'

'It has to breathe for exactly 22 minutes; then I can pour you a glass - right after the sacrifice.'

"This wine tastes like a**....Bring me every bottle you have!"

Velvety. And so was the wine.

Gosh dern it, Cookie! Thanks to you the boys won't punch cattle without a frothy cup of yer Mesquite Caramel Cappuccino!

"May I say, sir, the staff and I just knew you'd see through that Beaujolais."

Happy hour.

"One man's dirty water is another man's Earl Grey."

"The 'Ex' huh?"

'No I don't do decaf, soy lattes with a shot of vanilla!'

'Too acidic? On the contrary, I find it well balanced.'

"Persistent, well-rounded, and full-bodied, with hints of smoke, and just a soupdon of irregularity."

"You know, after all these years of giving you advice on all. Things personal and professional, it occurred to me that you've never actually asked for my opinion."

"Single malt scotches are good but I prefer regular old comfort booze."

"We start with black coffee and then add a lot of stuff so it doesn't taste like black coffee."

"For those of you visiting our church for the first time just raise your hand and our ushers will refresh your coffee."

"I highly recommend our featured red. With its markup, what waiter wouldn't?"

Nappy Hour 2-3.

"I'm a local craftsperson - I make money."

'Maybe you're sitting on the wrong end.'

'The wife and I have decided to nominate our weekly drink-free days as tomorrow and the day after tomorrow.'

Book Prediction Club

"A cheeky little wine, would you agree?"

"Is the vodka fresh?"

Tea Shop.

"For those planning to post a nit-picking, fault-finding critique of us online, may I suggest out 'whine and dine' menu."

Watch out for this guy. Worse than passing bad checks, he asked for instant coffee and nondairy creamer.

'Lance, the more I drink the funnier you get!'

'Happy hour, drinks half price'

"It's a naive domestic Burgundy without any breeding, but I think you'll be amused by its presumption."

Drinks vending machine: Tea, Coffee, No idea what this is, Urgh, and Best not.