Gouda Gourmand T-Shirts

"No thanks, kid, but I'll take four pounds of the gouda and all the brie that you got."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

The eye of newt - Is it gluten-free?

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

Dijon Vu

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"He was going to buy. Why'd you tell him it was made with real gingerbread?"

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

God Cooks Up Evolution

"Cemetery Pie"

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

You've Got Mail

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"And now it's gluten free!"