Gouda Gourmand T-Shirts

"No thanks, kid, but I'll take four pounds of the gouda and all the brie that you got."

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Yo, Cézanne, paint faster. I need those grapes for the Madeira sauce."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Gaston's Gourmet Truckstop

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I love finding my food at the Farmers Market. Makes me feel like a true pioneer."

Just one more choccy...

'Mmm... the bouquet flickers around the nose like butterflies sweetly scented by the shower from a the milk of a goddesses breasts.'

'Gretel, she's lying. It's not gluten free!'

'Your fish dinner should be along shortly. Frank just had a nibble.'

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Try and push the eye of newt and wing of bat casserole."

"And the best part of grinding their bones to make your bread - totally gluten free!"

Dijon Vu

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

"Cemetery Pie"

Capturing a Cook

God Cooks Up Evolution

"So, it's Gluten free, lactose free and meat free. How does it taste?"

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

You've Got Mail

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

"That's one t-bone steak for you sir, and a bowl of blood and guts for your zombie friend."

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"And now it's gluten free!"

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."