Doggie Gourmand T-Shirts

"Dog food again! How about a pup tart instead?"

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Dog Chow Mein

'You could use more fiber in your diet; go sow a few wild oat brans.'

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

Dijon Vu

'According to my count, he sticked 23, gloved 18 and ate 5.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

Coffee, toast and some of my special homemade turkey marmalade!

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"I'm done - I only jog far enough to burn off the cheesecake I had for breakfast."

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."