Doggy Gourmand T-Shirts

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"Perhaps we should cleanse our palates first?"

Just one more choccy...

Tomorrow we'll cheer the fourth of July! Picnics with families mean hot dogs to buy! Flags will be waving so proudly up high! And fireworks displays will light the night sky which Frank will miss due to way too much pie! Pie Eating Contest!

Dog Chow Mein

Dijon Vu

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

God Cooks Up Evolution

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

For once, I'd like to order a non-soy-based tofu substitute. No more health food. I have Tofurkey.

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"Unitarian. You?"

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."