Doggy Gourmand T-Shirts

'This is is a Merlot...I didstinctly asked for a Cabernet Sauvignon! '

The wonderful world of cheese.

"Parts of a dog" "Hears food drop" "Smells food" "Chews food" "Swallows food" "Digests food" "Moves toward food" "Signals for food" "Makes room for more food"

The Coffee Shop Vats of New Jersey

"Hmmm... low ash content. Smells like someone switched to canola oil... wait, is that tripe I smell?"

"Hmmm ... you're right — I forgot the brie."

Grand Escargot at a Parisian Eatery.

"I'll have the spaghetti, does that come on toast?"

Just one more choccy...

Dog Chow Mein

"Jeffrey eats everything, Mom, because no one has told him what he doesn't like."

'I couldn't put the book down... I had peanut butter and jelly on my hands!'

"Of course this is a pizza! Man, I've always been a rebel!"

"Kibbled, canned and frozen were non-starters. But he'll often accept a ice ribeye as long as it's been properly dry aged."

Dijon Vu

'Don't worry, Sir. Most of our customers get indigestion when they see the bill.'

"Gimme a double burger between two burgers. And hold the lettuce; it only dilutes the experience."

"Love the cheese - not so sure about the presentation."

Capturing a Cook

The four basic food groups: Dry, Moist, Biscuit, Bone.

No matter where. . . everyone gravitates toward the kitchen.

The experience was exhilarating. You could eat like a pig and weigh nothing.

'That's not exactly what I had in mind.'

God Cooks Up Evolution

"If I'm billing six hundred dollars an hour, lunch just cost me $ 638.75."

"The book, How to Serve Man! It's. . . It's a cook book, filled with recipes that use MSG and transfats!"

'What d'you say to a massive Szechuan-style wok fry-up before we start?'

"Now this is what I call a thanksgiving break."

He didn't even remember signing up for the taste test.

"It's not just compared to the table, damn it. This is a small portion."

"Unitarian. You?"

"That doesn't make any sense - The Milky Way shouldn't affect your lactose-intolerance."

"Some dehydrated corn and bone meal for the gentleman, perhaps?"