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"She definitely has your neck bolts."

Dracula in a Vampire Hospital getting some extra blood from a Human blood drip

Giant Monster in Bath

"Sorry. My blood sugar has just been running a little low lately."

"What do you mean you're tired of AB negative?"

Bram Stoker

One of Dracula's 'coffin mournings'.

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

Rejection leaves a terrible scar....

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Poems to Spookify

The Raven - The Study at Night

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Vampire afternoon tea.

Pass the SPF 20,000

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

Wolfman riding in the Car

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

The ghost's walk

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

'It's ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! And smells delicious!'

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'

'He just loves the hokey-pokey, doesn't he?'

'Her first telekinesis!'

Trilby - 'Wistful and sweet.'

'You've become a right pain in the neck.'

'No, I'm sorry - the nose ring is going to have to go!'

'You'd forget your head if it wasn't screwed on.'

Trilby - 'Voila l'espayce de hom ker jer swee!'

Trilby - 'I believe you, my boy!'