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"So, what brings you in today, Mr. Brooks? High anxiety again?"

Out To Lurch

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

"The previous tenant was a bit of a shut-in."

"Nevermore." "You don't have to use 'air quoths' every time."

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

"The new OS update should fix the bug that makes you want to murder everyone."

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

The lonely figure

"What'd you think the zipper on my face was for?"

'It's a little varietal I bottle myself...Type A positive.'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Trilby - 'Oh my poor girl! my poor girl!'

The Raven in Flight

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Cosmetic Stone Mason.

Trilby - 'Ca fera une fameuse crapule de moins'

"Graveyards always put me ill at ease."

Trilby - 'Oh don't you remember sweet Alice, Ben Bolt?'

"No monster, when I said 'lend me a hand'..."

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

'R.I.P. Van Winkle, just sleeping.'

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

"Never think outside the box!"

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

"I'll have a Bloody Mary. And bring a Witch Hazel and tonic for the little woman."

Pass the SPF 20,000

Edgar Allan Poe

Trilby - 'Hast thou found me, o mine enemy?'

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

The night