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A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"Time's up, honey."

Trilby - 'An atmosphere of bank-notes and gold'.

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

'It's ALIVE! IT'S ALIVE! And smells delicious!'

'Er. . . I had an appointment with Dr. Jekyll. . .'

'Now remember: upon completion, we do NOT offer the Count a free set of bathroom mirrors!'

Claudette Melanson

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

Bram Stoker

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

Trilby - Mademoiselle Ernestine singing 'Les Cloches du Monastere'.

"You never know what will catch on!"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

The Goblin and the Sexton

Professor Van Helsing's long and successful career as a vampire hunter, came to a sudden end due to woodworm.

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

Till life do you part.

Poems to Spookify

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

Trilby - 'Confession

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Trilby - The 'Rosemonde' of Schubert.

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

Trilby - 'Voila l'espayce de hom ker jer swee!'

Trilby - 'May heaven go with her!'

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'