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Trilby - 'The fox and the crow'.

Trilby - 'Confession

'My wife here has the body of a twenty year old. . . Also the brain of a thirty-nine year old, legs of a twenty-four year old. . .

'I'm sure that damned meter reader is on the fiddle, Igor! Have you seen this latest electricity bill?'

Bride of Frankenstein charges her phone

One vampire tricks another behind a mirror.

A vampire sitting on a park bench at night feeding bats.

Trilby - 'The sweet melodic phrase.'

'..It's just that with all your amazing powers of deduction and elimination, Holmes, I'm just a little surprised that the best solution you can come up with for seeing off the hound of the Baskervilles, is to 'chase them across the moors with a hoover. up

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

The Portrait of Dorian Gray after one year in lockdown.

Trilby - 'Dodor in his glory'.

Trilby - Mademoiselle Ernestine singing 'Les Cloches du Monastere'.

"You never know what will catch on!"

'Count Dracula, I wish you'd come to me sooner...'

"Phew! - You've got bat breath."

"I know we're not supposed to invite them over the threshold dear, but it seemed awfully rude to leave him standing on the doorstep."

'Heathcliff! Oh, Heathcliff!'

The Goblin and the Sexton

The Raven - The Study at Night

Trilby - 'Au clair de la lune'.

'I'm not trying to take away from the fact that you are a twisted, brilliant genius. . .but what is with the size of this bloody forehead?!?'

'I'm telling you I don't know where your goat is, look in the classifieds.'

Poems to Spookify

Trilby - 'Malbrouck s'en va-t'en guerre'.

"So there you are—I thought I heard someone squishing moodily about the moors."

Count Alucard's Night-Care Center.

Trilby - 'For Gecko'.

Till life do you part.

Trilby - The 'Rosemonde' of Schubert.

"He goes to the bathroom a lot. Where did you get the kidneys?"

A Hellish Thing (The Rime of the Ancient Mariner).

"Yes, there is a pre-existing condition. I was once dead."

The ghost's walk

Trilby - 'I will not! I will not!'