Gossip Mongers Gifts

"With Gloria, it's in one ear and out the mouth."

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'She's so put together!'

A little bird told me...

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Men gossiping

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Whine and cheezed party."

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Water cooler talk stations."

"Botox."

'Our new simplified energy bills just have a few options starting with 'Grossly inflated' and progressing to the premium 'Bloodsucker' package. . .'

"I don'y know who did her, but when she laughs the wrinkles go in very weird directions."

"And remember, people, it's better to light a scandal than to curse the darkness!"