Gossip Gatherer Gifts

"It's Lida Bascom's husband - he's frightfully unhappy."

"Get all the information you can, we'll think of a use for it later."

"Just wondering - after you steal my thunder, what do you do with it?"

' I hear she's had more partners than ' Strictly Come Dancing ' '

'He's had more success in the rat race than the human race.'

"Email is such a security risk! That's why I prefer good old fashioned one-to-one gossip."

'A Nosey Cow'.

Magazine Lover's Weekly magazine

'I hear Sandra's gone off with the tennis coach.'

A snake passing from mouth to ear till it bites.

'Nothing like some tea and symphony.'

"WOW! If your ears aren't burning they jolly well ought to be!"

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"Will it all end in tiaras?"

"I had half a date last weekend."

"I'm just going to te hairdressers. They've got some new gossip in."

Notice Board - Locally Sourced Gossip

"Facts are good, but we need all the rumors, gossip, and speculation to fully understand the situation."

"I haven't confirmed it personally, but I hear the Lutherans have the best coffee."

'Retirement became more tolerable when I installed this water cooler.'

'His nose has been running for a week - I didn't know he was so athletic.'

'As a career goal, I'd like to work in government, get the goods on someone, and write a tell-all book.'

'She's had three husbands,including her own!'

'The girls in the office said you were very good in bed,'

'Wine and. . . fresh news. . .'

Friends

Hadleyville Has-Beens

Lady praises date for being a good conversationalist.

"...I have the oddest 'earliest memory' and I wanted to share it. It's just as wekkm I guess. Knowing some man secretly attended my first birthday party has caused me to question my parentage all these years....Especially since Mother Park made me promise not to tell Father that the potted plant was acually J. Edgar Hoover."

"Boss, there's a rumor going around that someone lost a $1,000 bill in the cafe. There are like 200 people out there." "Interesting. And I assume they're all looking for the $1,000 bill. I assume they don't want anyone else to know about it before they find it." "I assume each of them is buying our food and drink so the others won't suspect they're here with ulterior motives." "I wonder who could have possibly spread such a rumor in the first place?" "Very bad man."

"We didn't see anything so special about the light in Greece. We have the same light in Tuckahoe."

"Do you ever hear anything from the old backpacking crowd?"

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."