Gossip Guzzler Gifts

'Well, it is just my opinion, but it's backed by the best rumor and speculation the internet can provide.'

"I like to keep up with all the latest things I don't care about."

'...and I must tell you what happened to me in school today...I wish they'd hurry up and fix the tv.'

"I'm voting for Stephen because I cannot stand Katie's mother, she is so catty! Anyway-- how're your parents doing with the divorce?"

News and Magazines. Celebrity gossip. Sports scandals. Political bickering. We're out of the "information age" and well into the "too much information age"!

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Annual run-off at the mouth.

'She's so put together!'

A little bird told me...

'Yak, yak, yak.'

"I'm more of a 'How Jen stays thin' person than a 'Why Jen won't let Brad alone' person."

'What's wrong? Think the walls have ears?'

Men gossiping

"Pssst! I had some CGI done."

"...and she said 'MOO!'"

'It's a fake - but all the hanging around the water cooler is down 57%!'

"Can you recommend a wine that would compliment a divorce?"

Every morning the office gossip was cascaded down...

'No. . . I'll never spend £400 on a haircut. . .'

"If you have any gossip, tell me now - she could come back ay second."

"I guess when your husband dies you'll really understand what they mean by a statistical death."

"Whine and cheezed party."

"Or we could raise your profile by coming out with that pimple on the end of your nose."

'Georgy Porgy kiss 'n' tell story.'

'John, I have to get going. Here's my views on politics, sports, and automobiles in case some of the boys come in later.'

"Oh, great, there are the Cardwells. Bet you they try to talk to us about their levitating cube."

"Maps to stars' rehab centers."

"So, Tom from accounting—you remember Tom, right? Anyway, Tom yells 'TMI, Gail!' Can you believe he said that?" "Textbook Tom."

The 24-Hour Celebrities Doing Something Stupid Channel.

"Well, Mr. Goddam Fancy-Pants Small-Town-Expose hot shot! What makes you think we don't all have lusty, kiss-and-tell memoirs boiling away inside us?"

"The incessant chatter was driving me crackers, so I got him his own twitter account."

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Vanity, thy name is Maple.'

"Botox."

"Water cooler talk stations."