Gossip Guru Gifts

Department of Pure Speculation.

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

'Sleaze, please.'

Chinese whispers: "This active listening workshop sounds useful!" "Why would I want to go to Worksop?"

Two desks manned by women - one marked 'information' the other marked 'gossip and rumors'.

'I like your enthusiasm, Booker, but I'll let you know when there's muck to be raked.'

I wonder where that's going...(Blame sign).

"I'm so jealous. Joanne looks like she hasn't used up a single one of her 9 lives."

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

'Am I boring you?'

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

Before podcasting, there was bobcasting...

'What makes you think your bartender is more qualified than my hairdresser to solve our marital problems?'

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

'If you can keep your trap shut, Furgis, you might be promoted to silent partner.'

'I noticed you sent an e-mail to your friend Nancy saying that I was nosy.'

"Of course I'm aware of all the office gossip. I started it."

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

'I don't want a haircut. I'm just looking for a man who will listen to me!'

'I never repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.'

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

"Water cooler talk stations."

'A little bird told me, and another little bird verified it.'

Smoky was reluctant to speak, but anything straight from the horse's mouth was always well received...

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

"Congratulations. The office rumors you spread have attained the stature of fake news."

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

'Someone here wants to listen to you,Doris!'

"As you can see this is pretty embarrassing so I'd appreciate keeping it between you, me and this fence post."

'They're getting divorced. I heard it in the beauty parlor and I confirmed it on the divorce website.'

'Be careful what you say around Marjorie...'

"Sorry, but I can only stay and talk for 5 hours."

Desert Island Gossipping