Gossip Guru Pillows

Department of Pure Speculation.

"Can you keep a secret?"

'Have you ever imagined a world with no hypothetical situations?'

'Sleaze, please.'

Chinese whispers: "This active listening workshop sounds useful!" "Why would I want to go to Worksop?"

Two desks manned by women - one marked 'information' the other marked 'gossip and rumors'.

'I like your enthusiasm, Booker, but I'll let you know when there's muck to be raked.'

I wonder where that's going...(Blame sign).

'Oooh the Timpsons have got new blinds.' (Blinds read 'Sod off you nosy cow).

'I don't like her line of gossip - it's never about anyone I know.'

'Am I boring you?'

'I noticed you sent an e-mail to your friend Nancy saying that I was nosy.'

'If you can keep your trap shut, Furgis, you might be promoted to silent partner.'

"I'm so jealous. Joanne looks like she hasn't used up a single one of her 9 lives."

'I really don't miss the water cooler.'

"Blah! Blah! Blah!" say sheep.

Before podcasting, there was bobcasting...

'What makes you think your bartender is more qualified than my hairdresser to solve our marital problems?'

'I never repeat gossip, so listen carefully the first time.'

"Water cooler talk stations."

'I don't want a haircut. I'm just looking for a man who will listen to me!'

'A little bird told me, and another little bird verified it.'

'I suppose you want to be served.' - 'No, but I wouldn't mind being included in the conversation.'

Women on desert island build themselves a fence to talk over.

"Want to bitch for one more lap?"

"Of course I'm aware of all the office gossip. I started it."

"And now here's Cathie with the hypothetical portion of the news."

Smoky was reluctant to speak, but anything straight from the horse's mouth was always well received...

"Elvis battles Alien, Britney weds Satan. Man, who reads this garbage?"

"Congratulations. The office rumors you spread have attained the stature of fake news."

The source of gossip.

'They're getting divorced. I heard it in the beauty parlor and I confirmed it on the divorce website.'

'What kind of agent are you if you can't even get my phone hacked?'

Paparazzi.

Annual run-off at the mouth.