Gospel Gurus Gifts

"The only spells she does anymore are the Gospels."

'He was just saying that all things come to him who waits and, sure enough, along came a lightning bolt.'

"Today we studied Matthew, the first in a four-part series."

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'The boss just chewed me up and spit me out...'

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

"I want to be a Jockey."

Walking on Water

'I'm good. How are you?'

"So if I need to stop smoking and lose weight..what are you going to do about it?"

Valentine for Guru.

'Your problem seems to be depression or angst...Depression I charge £75 a session angst is £125.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"Teach a man to fish, and he'll know how to fish."

"I think that form '10,000' steps may have been 9,999 too many!"

Dubai hit by financial difficulties

'Today's sermon is on the Gospel according to old Saint Matt....'

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

Career Guidance Office '...then again, what do I know; look where I work.'

Religious man watching religious TV

The Teachings of Jesus: Day 1

Huldrych Zwingli (Zwinglianism)

"My philosophy is to sell advice not follow it!"

'Talking about Jesus is NOT name-dropping!'

'The secret of life, son, is finding a better hiding place than I did.'

'You mean I have to MENTOR, too?'

"He sounds like a papaya I bought that just went straight from green to rotten."

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

"I'm sorry Gary, but my twelve apostles are enough. We don't also need a mascot."

'If everything is illusory, why should I listen to you?'

People respond to their map of reality - NOT reality

The experienced coach, like a panther, patiently awaits the precise moment to mount his challenge...

'You called for tech support?'

"Matthew, Mark, Luke, Peter. John you are out of order again."