Greatness Gurus Gifts

'I was a good dog, but I never took the time to make myself a great dog.'

'I'm sorry, but everyone is in a meeting.'

"Cards to remind people that you still haven’t gotten a thank you note from them"

"I can't imagine why we didn't think of this before."

Thank you bubbles

"Tia Carmen, if times are tough, how come you're giving money away?"

'Enter, His Royal Globalness...'

'The fourth quarter was no walk in the park. Especially for those who count on us to walk in the park.'

Greeting card section: 'thank you' and 'you're welcome'.

Sculptor's chippings

Meeting Pie Chart

"Thanks to my cost-cutting policies, profits are up 59%."

Maybe I'd better write a thank you letter for the Last Supper after all

Monkey dropping apples on Newton's head.

"She leaked WHAT to the press?"

Science fair judge sees flower pot broken on floor near sign saying 'gravity'.

"All yours, Buddy. I'm ALREADY living on house money."

"By the way… If no one has mentioned this before, we think you're swell."

'Can't you stop being charitable, we are on vacation.'

"I want to be a Jockey."

"Can I just leave a small tip?"

'I'm good. How are you?'

"Isn't it enough we tip well? Must we also like him on Facebook and follow him on Twitter?"

Zero gravity ahead.

"I do count my blessings, but then I end up counting those of others who have more and better blessings, and that pisses me off."

Give Thanks.

Charity mugger

Every Day is a Gift

Al's Diner. No Tipping (wink, wink).

Cupid Co. Valentine's Day Special Offer. For centuries Cupid had a monopoly in the falling in love business. But dating apps were making him obsolete. So he formed a company combining his matchmaking knowledge with online marketing techniques. Perhaps the biggest factor in the enormous success of Cupid Co. is the no questions asked return policy when a customer thinks an item is not as advertised.

'Don't worry, he always feigns death when it comes to tipping.'

'Just think of me as your life coach.'

"First the porridge is too hot, then too cold... you're getting a lousy tip."

"I'll be grateful for the small things, and you can be grateful for the big things - that way, we'll have it covered."

'Just think of me as your life coach.'