Gospel Explorer Gifts

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

"Soul searching? Yes, you could call it that."

'It's a nice idea. A bit rough around the edges but I'm sure it will evolve given time.'

'I hate to be so skeptical, but I still think the seance business is a hoax!'

Church leader at desk has 3 boxes marked 'Black', 'White' and 'Gray Area'.

"Ooh, ooh, I know this koan! I got it! Pick me! Pick me!"

"Your son is asking a lot of questions about the giant hands in the sky that controls everything."

'He who laughs last probably doesn't get it.'

Kid to pastor: 'Which office is heaven?'

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

"Home depot."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

"When you say the meek will inherit the earth, does that include the mineral rights?"

"We should start a church where we only read the parts of the bible that are never read in church."

'You'll never believe this - they've found the actual body of Jesus!'

A surprise in heaven

"I see you're back from church. What was cherry-picked for you today?"

"Tell her she's dead. I don't want to talk about the relationship."

"Honey, I’ve found God!"

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"Mainstream? Who's to say what's mainstream?"

Jesus's First and Less-Heralded Miracle Walk,

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

'You must heal yourself.'

'God's forgiveness of sins ... is that like a spiritual bailout program?'

'Eve wants a second opinion about the apples.'

'Do you believe in reincarnation?' - 'I don't now, but I did when I was Napoleon.'

Madame Lucille - Fortune Teller 'I predict the future'.

Christian and Born again Christian...

"Yes, alright! I know it's a small mountain... I'm only a novice oracle."

Proceed no further if chakras not aligned.