Evangelical Explorers Gifts

"Being reborn, eh? What better time to learn about our Lord? He was smooshed for your sins - did you know that?!"

'Oh, crap.'

Lady about the cross: 'Now that all of us have trusted Christ, this is our family tree.'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

"I didn't say my prayers, but I e-mailed God earlier."

'I'm an atheist!'

'I don't know about the ecosystem, but the economy seems to be on the upswing.'

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

Impatient Oil Drillers LTD.

The joy of sects.

"Imagine There's No Heaven. It's Easy If You Try..."

"Please....wait...the...meeting...host...will....let you...in....soon."

'We've got truth, we've got enlightenment, and we've got serenity - what we NEED is media coverage.'

Airports.

Pastor to couple: 'It is more blessed to forgive than to receive.'

"Do you ever wonder what happens to us when we die?"

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

'I seriously doubt if you've attained Nirvana yet - You've only been fasting and meditating for fifteen minutes.'

Yoga Dentist has sign on wall: 'Open Mouth Insert Foot'

Buddhist Center

'I'll be in Florida for the winter, but I've sublet my cave to a pair of nice Mormon missionaries.'

Catholic-Protestant Debates....

"Master, I'm looking for enlightenment!"

'You see! What did I tell you about this place?'

"The only spells she does anymore are the Gospels."

Jesus in the 'Lost and Found'.

"To find out if God exists let's ask an expert."

"I didn't say, 'Abandon sheep'."

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."

Moses Lost in the Desert....Year 40

"Possible side effects include disharmony, lack of oneness, and blurred third-eye vision."

"I'm going to India to find myself..."

The Guru has left this location after discovering the secret to happiness is better cell phone reception.