Ecclesiastical Explorer Gifts

The joy of sects.

A Clean Sweep at the Vatican.

"Is this the best investment strategy you could come up with?"

"Um, I notice there's nothing in here about pork."

'Wow! -- Talk about a paradigm shift!'

'I knew if we waited long enough, heaven would downsize.'

Revival Meeting - Simultaneous translation of all talking in tongues.

'Is there an E-Reader Edition?'

"Yes, but you were the defender of the wrong faith."

'Harlow, why can't you be passionate like Mel Gibson?'

'I think I've now earned the right to wear God on my sleeve.'

"Great - already running late and then this happens."

'Today's sermon is on Eve and Adam....'

Airports.

Religion & Economics.

"The worst is behind us!"

'Psst, buddy -- Apocrypha!'

"Just my luck."

"So Jesus, what denomination are you?"

'If it's all the same to you, we'd prefer not to get involved.'

"Have you noticed how climate change looks and feels the same as colonialism?"

"You won't believe how many Frisbees are up here!"

'That Smith kid just invited us to his church on Easter Sunday!'

Ferdinand von Zeppelin

Vicar losing his place in the sermon.

"Mr. Crusoe, you have some heft overdue fines."

"Being reborn, eh? What better time to learn about our Lord? He was smooshed for your sins - did you know that?!"

Don't get too close to Brother Jerome - he just baptized a Hun.

'Don't you have any maps of undiscovered secrets of ancient temples?'

I'm not sure asceticism is a relative concept Brother Michael

Sorry to Hear You're Leaving.

"I'm calling it 'Genesis.' It's part of a five-book contract."

"Go and spread the Gospel. Hide it in colorful, little eggs for the world to find and be delighted by."