Golf Green Comedian Gifts

'Twenty three, twenty four, twenty five,twenty six...'

Striving to reduce our dependence on fossil fuels, scientists attempt to harness the energy of a toddler's tantrum.

"Hi there! - I'm the world's first eco-friendly comedian... All My Jokes Are Recycled...!"

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Look! Up in the sky! It's absurd! It's inane! It's Malaprop Man! Malaprop Man, I hear you're fighting climate change now. Yes starting with solo panels, I'm reducing greenhouse guesses! I'm investing in buttery technology. I'm going to have windmeals. And of course, I've stopped drinking cola. Why is that? I'll have a smaller carbonated footprint!

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

"Can I get this to go in an organic, locally recycled, eco-friendly doggie bag?"

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Climate Conference. I'm glad you enjoyed my speech, but please don't call it the "high-water mark."

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

"Brilliant! And then all they have to do is stop them flying at night."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

'So there's global warming. What possible harm could it do?'

'I'd say that our transport policy couldn't get any greener'

Golf Score Reducer

"You're not helping the methane problem, you know."

Shipwrecked with an environmentalist.

Burn All Your Garden Rubbish

Golf Hil Divot

"You have a good lie."

The natural selection process in golf.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Will work for manure.

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"Hide? What do you mean hide? We are literally camouflage and they still eat us!"