Golfing Humorist Gifts

'Whatever you do, don't tell the rest of the herd about this secret grazing place we found.'

"Hey! If you're gonna use the ladies tee that skirt goes below the knees. And lose the tank top, mister."

Dwarf on golf course

Football fanatic playing golf

The world's first caddy.

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

The natural selection process in golf.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"