Golfing Comedian Gifts

"Ooonk! Too much club."

'Does it have a little red dot on it?'

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

The natural selection process in golf.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Mulligan's first mulligan.

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"