Golf Comedy Gifts

'That's why we're vice-presidents, and he's president.'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

The natural selection process in golf.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.