Golf Comedy Fan Gifts

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

'I knew it! Come back here!'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

The natural selection process in golf.

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

Mulligan's first mulligan.

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"