Golf Humor Fan Gifts

'If relaxing was really the secret to good gold, he'd be better than Tiger Woods.'

"5 shots. That's about Jim's par for this hole."

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

'I'm not quitting! Who knows if i'll ever get another chance to break a hundred!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

"Ralph - you'd play better golf if you had your eyes checked."

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

"Well, yeah, Doc, I twisted my back a little...but it was the longest golf shot I've ever made!"

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO

Mulligan's first mulligan.

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

'Hmmm...I think I've figured out why you're slicing...'

'Tell me the truth,Rodney - you've moved the hole haven't you!'