Golf Course Humorist Gifts

Green Fee $55. How much if we didn't use the green?

If golfers were honest with themselves.

'Rats! I thought I was in luck when it landed in the water!'

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

Hole in forty-seven.

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

The natural selection process in golf.

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

'My name is John and I'm a golfaholic!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO