Golf Course Humor Gifts

Golfer to other: 'I've never seen anyone slice a putt before.'

'Have I told you that sometimes I become furious, that I've got a previous conviction for bodily harm and that I hate to lose?'

Caddie brings his golfer a shovel in the sand trap.

It is best dealt with by the 'Pitch and Run Shot'.

Donald Trump Playing Golf With Hair On Fire

'Hole in one!!!!'

'I don't think there's any hope for my golf game.'

'I'm finding the greens a bit slow.'

Helicopter dropping golf balls onto a green.

"Okay...just this once...but no more practice swings!"

Tom, you may not want to pause so long at the top of your swing.

'I read that the ball is on the surface of the club for just 0.00035 of a second, so even when you take 100 shots to go around, you are only getting less than 1 second of golf for your money...'

'Wait! Better give me the big one.'

Golf Score Reducer

Golf Hil Divot

'If you want to improve your golf score, the best wood to use is a pencil with an eraser.'

Dieter Miller veloped the talking golf ball to call out when lost in the rough. But... (ouch, ouch, ouch)

"I enjoy the game so much more since they invented the self-driving ball!"

"I've never seen a gimme taken on a fareway before."

'Have you got a sand wedge?'

'One of the quickest ways to meet people is to pick up the wrong ball.'

Golf Myth #293--Ball Washer

"In this situation, I'd suggest a 5-word sentence with an action verb but hold the exclamation mark."

Tiger Woods, on his way to his 1st golf tournament.

'I remember Rod when he used to strike footballs into the crowd!'

'I know Joe's sight isn't all that but the captain's not going to like it.'

Poor Walt - they don't make em like him anymore.

For a $50 payoff, Dwayne would agree not to follow a foursome around all 18 holes.

"Hurry up Ted, or are you going to spend all day in that bunker?"

Meditating on a 4th for golf!

"... And how much am I bid for this set of, John McEnroe's golf clubs?"

'I'll be with you in a minute.'

"Oooh! I never knew your butt could move like that, honey!"

Mulligan's first mulligan.

TOLD YOU TO TAKE LESSONS FROM GOLF PRO